it could happen. anytime. anywhere.

2012-02-03T03:08:00.001+11:00

The world is filled with evil like you.

Thanks for kinda ruining my life.

2012-01-20T12:25:00.001+11:00

Just like that, it was all over.
(Curious, how this sounds like the post on Oct 11.)

I fell asleep a helpless person, with no choices given but to choose I liked most out of three options I didn't like at all. (Read into it.)

I woke at 5.17am.

Wishing it was all a bad dream.
It didn't go away.
The whatsapp messages, they remained on my screen.

I tossed and turned and slept subconsciously until I was awoken for work.
What can I say?
I love Rosemary.

And I love you dad.
Thank you for supporting me always.
And it's always ALWAYS.
Thank you.

2011-12-23T11:54:00.000+11:00

I know you probably don't understand how this is gonna work out but neither do I.

Cos I can't give you what you want from me and you can't accept what I can give.

So we hit a wall.

And I'll talk about another issue that has been bothering me lately too...

Er tomorrow I've had a long day. But we can still talk here of course.

I'll talk about it only when y'all are open hearted and ready for honesty I guess...?

And of course, throughout this whole time, I was wondering if I was the bad guy.

Why was I feeling this way?

Like why am I feeling so negatively and so strong about it?

So I guess it was also the circumstances where we just hung out everyday just because

and it soon turned into a habit.

I really need to sleep now so I'll talk about it tomorrow.

Meanwhile just say how you feel

The whole hangin out 24/7 turned into a bad habit

Maybe you're looking for a friend like that.. But I can't. I'm sorry, I can't give u that anymore cos I can't :/

2011-12-20T01:54:00.000+11:00

Whatsapp Conversation to be pasted here.

So, I had my first day of work today at Serial and it was...
Boring. But I don't like being too busy.
I guess I just want someone to talk to, to laugh with.

My nightmares last night. From what I remember...
I woke up at least twice during the night.
I know I was trying to shoot something or someone who was trying to invade my house I think.
And then I ended up sitting on a chair.
I was probably recovering from my injury.
In front of me was Christine and somewhere along the dream, she passed me two white pills that looked like my bloated medicine and told me I'll be better after taking them.

I had them and somehow I thought to myself, someone's going to walk around and check on us.
I turned my head to back to the right, there was a woman with her German Shepherd.
I heard "Open wider." But my mouth felt really dry and I felt a tinge of fear myself the dog took a good long sniff and I heard either "Yup. We got you." or "Yup. This is it."

Turns out it's cocaine. HAHA.
I was telling christine to play along when I tried to let the handler overhear our conversation about how I didn't know they were drugs. We were told to go into a room where a trial was about to take place.
Our trial.

We were outside alone with no restraints next to some shurbs and a nice garden.
Christine told me that we could run for it.
But I said, if we run, then we would look guilty.
So, in we walked, and I got seated.
There was a screen with newspaper headlines flashing.
Overhead by overhead.
Past news and then our doings.
There was even a word I had never seen. Yorps.
Then, weirdly, it was a huge case, ours, apparently, for the cast of Grey's walked in to observe.
I've never watched a single second of grey's in my life, that's the funny part.

Suddenly, I realised Kylie was next to me.
She was telling me at best it was at least a year's jail.
I thought it was the death sentence. Hmmm.
But I remember towards the end.
I was just swearing that I didn't know it was it.
All I felt was remorse and so guilty when my parents knew.
How I've so disappointed them as they would never know the truth.
I could feel my fingers forming the swearing sign of three fingers together.
Never in a dream I've ever stayed so conscious, so lucid, and felt my hand.

But even then, I didn't know it was a dream.
Just before the charges were read or that I may have been found guilty,
I woke.

It was a huge and very brief wave of confusion that lasted at most a second.
And then I realised I was staring at my night light in my room.
The biggest wave of relief hit me after.

I was so happy as if I was given a second chance.
So happy it was just a nightmare.

My mind was mad.
I had woken up more than once and it wasn't even 6am.
I checked my phone and I saw L's msgs.
My heart sank.

I laid in bed.
And then I waited to fall asleep once more.

After a whole day at work, I can't remember any more of my dreams.

But all I can say about my mundane life is that, I look forward only to the night everyday.
I can't wait to fall asleep.
I can't wait to dream and then remember everything.

But there was one dream.
No two if I count the recent ones.
I dreamt that my father and D both passed, but in different dreams.

So anyway,
What if I don't like what I'm doing?
But right now, I think it's just company that I need.

2011-10-11T16:58:00.000+11:00

"i can't help you anymore. in fact i have nothing to say for now. you probably know you deserve my anger and silence and that is all." "you won't find forgiveness or understanding from me right now and no amount of sorrys is gonna do that. you know how cold i can be with people who goes overboard." "i don't have any kindness or a friend left in my right now to help you sort out your own issues when you didn't even respect a simple thing like privacy. you're looking for answers and how to deal with our friendship that has already been ruined the moment you made that decision as impulsive as it was." "if i'm brutally honest, the last thing i could care about is the dynamics of ALT and i don't even want to think about it right now. all i'm feeling is disgust. it's not even raging anger. it's not the kind of anger or disappointment that one sighs and whines about." "meanwhile you take care and be careful with your other relationships with people and to not do the same damn thing to them"

and just suddenly, it's all over.

2011-10-11T16:07:00.000+11:00

How the storm looks just before it starts.

It's calm.
But it's bad.

Today, I confessed.
I've let a friend down.
I know I might never gain her complete trust or forgiveness again.
But I'm hoping, just hoping that our friendship survives this.

2011-10-09T22:20:00.000+11:00

Non preoccuparti delle persone del tuo passato, c'è una ragione se non ce l'hanno fatta nel tuo futuro.
Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.

I think learning to let go is a good thing?

I think being a jack of all trades is better than a master of one/none. Hah.

Being good at lots of things or being really good something is enough.
No need to be at the top right?
I feel no desire to.
It's like an exponential curve.
So much more effort for that a little bit more which is perfection.

I hope I find someone like you though.

2011-08-28T04:00:00.002+10:00

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Apple Inc.

2011-08-25T02:40:00.000+10:00

A lot of partying has happened in the recent weeks.

First there was rubix cube where christine returned,
there was the wadham basement/apartments,
there was wes neverland,
there was national day with rafael, sager and marcus for lin,
there was IH neverland with ryo and jay and douglas,
and then there was the most recent neverland where i made out for the first time with stranger mark.

there's a party coming up soon.

I have changed.
Spoke to Jacq.
Talked about sensitive things.
Brought it up to lin and then christine joined in.
it all ended pretty well.
I kinda opened up about what I felt.

Feel quite bad that I did now though.

I talked.
I said.
I teared.
I bitched.

Sigh.

2011-07-31T19:09:00.000+10:00

I regret not posting in the recent months.

Much has changed.

My life is now in Melbourne.

I miss my family.

I have another "family" now.

It's my two dear friends Christine and LiLin.

They were there for me when grandpa passed on.

A call came for us when we were having dinner at Copperwood.

Sem 2 has already started and things do feel a little different.

We are all in the phase where we are comfortable with each other.

Is our friendship working because they just sorta want to let things slide so that things will be easier?

According to the Tarot cards, it doesn't seem to be a good idea for us to move in with each other. I'm thinking tension will arise?

Things with Eugene are...

We're back together but it's just that it's an open relationship.

He's the man who can't be moved.

I feel myself changing.

Or liberated?

I realise even more so now that I can get really REALLY ANNOYING.

I whine too much.

2011-04-15T01:42:00.002+10:00

Maybe we're all just lucid dreamers,

From Ludwig Wittgenstein

"We are asleep. Our life is a dream. But we wake up, sometimes, just enough to know that we were dreaming."

Maybe we won't be stuck but how would we really know?

intrigued

2011-01-28T02:57:00.003+11:00

Before I forget,

Of ALL the BAD films I've watched ever, ALL PALE IN COMPARISON TO...

"I want the dots in the paper"

(if you're ever unfortunate enough to watch the show, you'll hear this line)

THE GREEN HORNET.

It was so bad that for the first time ever, towards the midpoint of the show, I gave up trying to follow the plot, if there was even one.

It was so bad that even CHRISTOPH WALTZ couldn't save the show.

Why?

His character got killed by JAY CHOU'S with two gun mags stuck into his eyes!!

WTF!?

Alright.

Quotes of the day:

"(swimming goggles) got size one right?"

2010-12-23T02:29:00.001+11:00

There is uncertainty no more.

NUS has spoken!!

I am going down under next February.

Upset cause I can't let go.

Scared that I'm going.

2010-12-16T15:02:00.002+11:00

I am genuinely scared.

My sentences and replies are full of IFs.

The uncertainty overwhelms me.

I refuse to believe that the journey with my friends are so short.

But I guess now I have to believe that some parts of my life are in phases.

Weekly lunches if I get to stay.

I guess it's not a phase if I get to have lunch with my friends.

So many friends going, so little time.

I feel so small and scared. ):

2010-12-11T16:58:00.002+11:00

The Kate Spade Polka Dot Neda.
All I want for Xmas is you!!

Haha maybe not. But I certainly think this would make a very pretty addition!! :D

2010-12-08T02:12:00.001+11:00

Why do we need friends anyway?

and then...

OMG it's true.

my life is in phases.

and then...

I think I'm a nut.

How childish and stupid.

and then...

my life has no meaning. ):

2010-12-08T01:38:00.003+11:00

"Sometimes we become so transfixed and relentless on attaining certain tangible outcomes that we cease to remember the original reason for that insane, whirlwind pursuit."

Whatever the polar bear is trying to say, I'm not sure.

I hope she doesn't come read this or she'd maul me.

I replied my attendance to go for touch rug training on friday and saturday today.

Little did I know that I wasn't on the finalized list. How very embarrassing.

If you know me, I absolutely abhor being embarrassed.

It's a certain emotion that most definitely irks me.

Anyway, it turns out that I made it seem as though I wasn't interested towards the end.

This quoting from a kind senior who bothered to explain to me.

Alright, I'm still on my self-destructive mode.

Sigh.

When I was in archi, technically I still am, I never could answer everyone's question to me when I was constantly hating my life, "Why you want archi in the first place? Your interest is it?" I've really lost sight and forgotten the reason why.

I feel a tinge of sadness. A big fat tinge actually.

Ok, I just feel a fat lot of sadness.

Here are two earth-shattering truths.

I've no friends.

The above is partly true.

I now recall that after every exam, or every week, every normal week, I'd be the one trying to meet up with people. Well, most of them wouldn't be free. They'd be watching movies with friends ALREADY. They'd be going out with others ALREADY.

It's quite tragic to know my life's so tragic.

What the heck, I still have my family.

OH wait. Ironically, if I'm including a certain cousin, no even I don't have my family.

There you go.

I've no friends.

I've only gone out twice since exams ended.

I really want to get out more since my life has been taken away since August.

No, staying at home EVERYDAY isn't NICE.

ON A MUCH HAPPIER NOTE (OF COURSE THIS IS FOR THE 8th.)

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

DEAR

ELIZABETH!!

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

DEAR

PORKBALL!!

2010-12-04T00:46:00.002+11:00

It's weird how I landed myself a decision to move out of my hall room today.

Or is it? Hmmm, on second thought, no it's not weird.

Anyway, I guess I never realized how much a neighbour, a friend and a polar bear could mean to me. I feel engulfed by the emptiness that hits me like a wall whenever I pass the now barren door or whenever I realize I'm looking at the floor and not the honeycomb mat with the clutter of shoes around it.

I had a nightmare last night which I hope will be the opposite of reality and not a message from the future. It was a nightmare that felt so real it hurt. I was told it was most probable that I wasn't offered a place here in NUS and this would mean that I would have to leave my awesome friends behind. It was then I realized that no matter how much I wasn't ready or no matter how much I wanted to stay here, it was still me that put me in this situation.

I need a guide. I need a path. I need a light.

OK. That was depressing.

Oh yeah, if it's you who's reading this catch my drift, I'm very sure you will,

I needed to say this for memory's sake, for the record,

"All bad things start with H."

HAHA.

Alright. That was hilarious but bad.

2010-11-29T12:03:00.001+11:00

I guess it's a trend.

It's all like a self-destructive pattern.

What if that someone was right?

What if my life will always be in phases?

2010-11-28T20:11:00.002+11:00

I'm two days away from the end of my exams and

my powerful magical escape-artist self, "the archi kid"

I'm glad to say that I've been under the good strong influence of my awesome polar bear neighbour!! Studying has actually been something not that bad. Sleeping by 12am and waking by 7.30am to have breakfast by 8am and reaching the central library by 8.30am, amazing.

On another random note, I love toffee nut latte!!

On yet another random note, I found this lying in my room this morning.

What is cute?

Cute is young and inexperienced.

Cute is holding hands in the car, and kissing at the red lights.

What is sexy?

Sexy is standing in the rain as you push me against the hood of your car,

tearing at my shirt, as you kiss me with the intent to never stop.

What is passion?

Passion is knowing what you want and stopping at nothing until you get it.

What is beautiful?

Beautiful is all about the inside of a person.

Beauty can only be found in the heart.

What is love?

Love is the amazing balance of all of these things, in your mind, body and soul.

2010-10-09T04:00:00.003+11:00

my life is tragic.

yes, this is an emo post.

archi is archi.

sleep cycle's 2 hours now.

i hate hall right now, just for a while.

yes, i know i said i love hall and i can't imagine life without it.

i still can't imagine but for now i really hate hall.

what's the fucking point of trying if it doesn't love you back?

or if it's just fate.

photography isn't about skill anymore.

it's about the other commitments and people's perception of you.

it really sucks to know you're inadequate in that sense.

i thought it was all great.

but it's starting to show and feel more like the real world.

it's not "the hall's" (personifying much?) fault.

life has finally found a tiny little hole that it can worm into and plague the happy bubble from the inside, rendering it a black ball that hits me in the face just a like warm squash ball (in reference to someone?) what happens in the end? your happiness that thankfully still comes occasionally pops.

Hence, what's the fucking point of loving and trying so hard when it's not going to love you back? Some say it's better to have tried and loved and lost. Well, I'm not in the best of moods and I say fuck it.

Side note: I have become vulgar with much regret but it does help to relive the pain.

Sorry people.

i love my awesome friends.

and i need them right now.

because i feel small.

and it's cold out here being alone in misery land.

2010-07-02T01:14:00.000+10:00

A lot has happened since I last blogged.
Another post shall do June justice.

I went out today to watch Toy Story 3 again, teared twice again and laughed even harder at the eeesh.

I walked around today and realized I want:

A Swatch watch just like the old times.
Pants.
Bag.
Reese's Earphones.

Oh btw,
Woody is very pretty.

2010-05-31T23:39:00.004+10:00

What troubled me to write is an interesting theory I have about the possible mistakes I might have been making concerning the way I spend money on lenses and my need for them.

I came to my own minute conclusion that I should be framing a photo that I wish to capture before I pick up the camera and jam the viewfinder to my right eye. I might have possibly, merely, just looking at the great space that has been presented to me, so greatly moved by it that I fail to consider the angles and perspectives in which I can capture the moment from. I might possibly be using the viewfinder to frame my pictures before taking them. This brings me to my point of buying lenses.

If I've been utilizing the viewfinder so excessively, my pictures are fitted by the lens. I no longer use the lens to capture the moment. The lens controls me.

"I no longer compose without the lens. I am supposed to compose with my eyes and mind, am I not?"

How shocked I was, by myself, to allow my mind be overcome by this theory. Does this theory prove that I do not treat photography as art? Does it also prove that I am merely using photography as a means to satisfy personal craving?

But no, that is but a theory.

I think before I shoot most of the times. I know what exposure compensation makes a picture that I like. Though I may not have harnessed its true raw power, I know the basics of composition. Perhaps the new addition of the Nikon 10-24mm to the family has clouded my usual logical mind? It is after all, a wide-angle lens, which isn't easy to master. I come to another conclusion which may be an illusion to calm and reassure myself that I am on the right track, using the viewfinder and properties of the attached lens as tools and helpers to my eyes.

Right now, rule of thirds and the golden mean!

Bonsoir!

2010-05-31T23:35:00.002+10:00

I seem to have totally neglected to write about what has gone on in my life.

I got accepted into Melbourne and Monash universities, I accepted Melbourne.

Shortly after, in a matter of hours, I see NUS's reply.

I have been accepted into its architecture school.

I accepted that as well.

But enough about uni, more of it another time when I've the mood.

(not any time soon)

I have added a lens to the family, I'm going to Paris for a week and I'm taking my driving test soon. Hopefully, my license to drive after.

2010-05-05T02:49:00.002+10:00

There shall be a post after this.

Ok so I slept at 4am last night. I don't even rmb posting the previous post up anymore. I didn't cry last night, of course I didn't. Well, I couldn't. I guess I just need someone's shoulder to cry into, but not yours.

I just had a chat with my dear friend and it felt great to be chatting over the phone again. What with everyone else working, it's really worse than schooling. I watched Ip Man 2 today with my ex-colleague. Thanks for today, anyway I like the music. I still wish that I can play the violin.

Ok, I really need a hug and then a shoulder and then a chat and then the phrase it's going to be great. LYS!! Please help me with that.

I'm going for my driving lesson again tmr!! Parallel parking. I still want to try reverse parking again. Not very confident about it at all and that's the first lesson I'm feeling so.

Goodbye world. I cry alone tonight?

Nah. Just goodnight world.

2010-05-04T02:53:00.001+10:00

Goodbye world.

I cry alone tonight.

2010-05-03T00:55:00.000+10:00

What am I thinking?!

My grandma is my inspiration.

2010-04-27T23:04:00.002+10:00

Mail came today for my house's previous owner's daughter.

It was from Ernst & Young.

Now, that's inspiration.

2010-04-26T23:36:00.000+10:00

Now, let me post again.

I just checked up the ICPAS website and all.

Turns out I only have to take the ICPAS PE after graduation in Melbourne.

If they accept me...

Here're the choices available to me...

NTU Bachelor of Business (Honours) 3 years

Work Experience? 2 years

NTU MBA (Accountancy) 16 months (Full Time)

Total 6 years +

Australia

Melbourne Bachelor of Commerce 3 years

Monash Bachelor of Commerce 3 years

Honours 1 year

Total 3-4 years

2010-04-23T00:35:00.006+10:00

Taken from the US Navy SEALs motto, this post is titled...

The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday

(Wow I'm such a guy about the post title.)

Well, anyway, yesterday was a really great day.

NTU sent me mail.

I'm accepted into the Business programme!!

I then watched Kick-Ass with YuSin and had a cheap dinner at Cafe Cartel.

See? A great day in the unemployed life of pix.

Today wasn't so great.

SMU Business group interview was definitely not good.

My father and I just had a chat.

I realize I'm stuck.

Study options:

1) NTU Bachelor of Business

2) Melbourne Bachelor of Commerce (Accounting)

2010-04-16T01:51:00.002+10:00

I realize I'm sighing a lot.

I'm not happy.

I don't see where my job is taking me.

I don't see any new job openings for me to take.

I'm not happy.

I don't see where my future is going.

I'm not happy.

I am unhappy due to such things.

I'm a brat.

I am a bad friend.

I'm a bitch.

I say the worst things ever and I'm not nice at all.

I'm an asshole.

Yes, this looks like one of the posts earlier.

Yes, I'm quitting my job tmr.

2010-04-09T01:36:00.005+10:00

You see what I have written the previous post?

Paste it here.

Yes, my life has been pretty much the same.

Yes, I'm still not happy.

Yes, I'm quitting my job and leaving next Friday.

As freakishly "inspired" by Fight Club,

I am PX's tired soul.

Freakishly, I'm having insomnia like the protagonist/antagonist in the show (that was a spoiler) I haven't slept for the past few days. No, you would not see my eye-bags. No, I'm not actually having insomnia. No, I did sleep. But I'm not getting any sleep mentally at all.

The gist: I sleep but it just feels like I haven't slept at all.

I do not go into slumber nor do I wake.

This is what has been happening.

My eyes shut each night to slide me into dreamland. Each night as everyone else goes to bed to sleep and rest from the day they had, I do not. I start a new day when my eyes shut. In my dreams, everything is real. For you see, my life does not stop for the hours that I sleep whereas the lives of others come to a standstill at night.

Of course, I do not sleepwalk, sleep-run, sleep-drive, sleep-shout or sleep-PANIC. (the word sleep looks weird to me now after typing it for so many times) Yes, panic.

I quote from Fight Club.

The following words are pertinent to what my life is now.

With insomnia, nothing's real.

Everything's faraway.

Everthing's a copy of a copy of a copy.

Well. I'm mixing up reality and dreams occasionally.

I'm not that sure what is real anymore.

My life continues in my dreams and continues in reality and continues.

2010-03-30T02:48:00.002+11:00

I realize I'm sighing a lot.

I'm not happy.

But I do have my ukulele.

Yes, my beloved little thing.

I don't see where my job is taking me.

I don't see any new job openings for me to take.

I'm not happy.

I don't see where my future is going.

I'm not happy.

At times, I like to do things again and again because I like to know what's going to happen next. It's my escape to thinking that I'm psychic.

2010-03-24T03:00:00.005+11:00

2 hours after midnight, I find out who the people were.

People who cared about me.

People who doubted me.

People who may not want to talk to me anymore.

I didn't think that the past would come back to me this way.

I certainly did not expect my friend to break news to me.

I then learnt from another friend who knew a little about it.

Am I seen as a huge liar now?

It may seem stupid, naive and immature but heck, is it time to say Melbourne, here I come?

R is for Resorts World

which I've not heard from.

J is for Job

which I soon may not have.

J is for Jam too

but hey, I love Peanut Butter.

2010-03-22T03:03:00.002+11:00

It's official.

I got BBBB/B for A's.

Shall it be accounting or architecture?

Melbourne or Singapore(if possible)?

It's the money.

I had dinner with brother and mother plus desiree and mother plus yusin just now.

At a place which isn't called katsu don but called ginza barin.

Up in the air was a great show. Sad but great.

Not in the best of moods now.

Working in 8.5 hours. How nice.

I can't see myself working in any particular profession.

2010-03-03T02:33:00.001+11:00

It is now official.

Results are out on 5th March.

I sincerely hope that it would be good.

Parents' birthday on 7th.

Hmmm, let's see......

Where did I have dinner just now?

Oh yeah, TGIF with YuSin (:

2010-02-07T20:08:00.002+11:00

I've just worked my first week in my life.

I'm tired and I hope things won't get too busy. I want to go out. This weekend was horrid cause I didn't really get to go out that much and I had to work for 4 hours on Saturday morning.

I had a class dinner after my first day. Yusin said it sounds so working-people-ish. How tragic, I'm turning into an adult, living a half-adult life. I met up with Yusin, nic and kendrick to watch Imaginarium which failed tragically as a movie, What's more, yusin wasted 3 dollars cause she fell asleep due to fatigue. Or was it the movie?

So anyway, I've earned about 200 bucks this week after the whole CPF deduction.

It's my parents' birthday a month from now. I really hope I get good A Level results.

2010-02-01T01:16:00.002+11:00

Ridiculous Revelation. (oxymoron?)

"I've an craving for ice cream. But I just brushed my teeth. Made me lose my appetite for all food. Hmmm maybe whenever I feel like snacking I shall brush my teeth."

Another Revelation.

Desiree is pretty nice to me. By right, I should be a quite boring person. Anyway, before I forget. Her birthday present is to be completed soon. A letter in the form of a book and chicago tickets.

I start work tomorrow btw.

2010-01-29T02:33:00.002+11:00

I think about the letters of the alphabet and I wonder why I bother with some of them. Specifically, I cannot remember why I bother with particularly 3 consecutive letters of the alphabet.

It's like I never knew much about you 3, whom make up one.

Goodbye, and I break my promise of staying in touch.

2010-01-28T20:20:00.002+11:00

My life as it is now:

On the 25th, I went down to Recruit Express which I currently hate.

On the 26th, I went down to Modern Pak (which I hope I won't hate) for a bloody long interview.

On the 27th, I stupidly signed a bloody lousy contract which takes away my jobless life.

Alright, today I found the reasons I should try to love my job.

1) Ukulele to be bought - about $200 spent

2) iPad which will come in April - if I'm not waiting for a possible 2nd gen, $900?

3) Raybans - about $300? assuming if I want it

(other stuff)

4) Attire for work: Smart Casual, bring slippers along? o.O

5) Movies to watch and food to eat (Imaginarium and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups)

Hmmm, oh yeah. About the previous post, I've changed my mind about the Geography Textbooks. It's Mahogany Soprano KA-S vs the Mahogany Concert KA-C.

Alright, it'll be February when I get back. Why? 1st Feb is my first day of work.

2010-01-22T00:54:00.002+11:00

Peanut Butter vs Raisins.

Good A Level Results vs Bad A Level Results.

Apple versus Mango versus Grape.

NUS vs NTU vs SMU.

Bananas vs Strawberries.

Working as Admin vs Working at USS.

Sec 2 Geography Textbook A vs Sec 2 Geography Textbook B.

Mahogany Soprano KA-S vs Ohana SK-15 (Black/Dark Blue/Red)

Explanation for self:

1st one is quite self-explanatory. (ok stupid redundant sentence)

2nd one: All fruits are great but difficult to decide which one to have. (Assumption of possible entry)

3rd one: Just like the fruits, I don't really like working but it gives me vitamins(money).

4th one: Playing guitar/ukulele is common sense just like Human Geography, which is also interesting.

2010-01-14T01:31:00.001+11:00

My life as it is now:

I have a great new friend, R.

I just stayed over at a chalet for the first time ever.

I am still not yet employed.

I still love E (:

2009-11-04T00:44:00.001+11:00

Just stop and imagine for a moment.

'A' Levels would be over in a month!!

2009-10-30T00:54:00.000+11:00

I hate the world for the sad state it is in now.

2009-10-30T00:02:00.002+11:00

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me

I remembered each flash as time began to blur

Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me

And your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve

So give me reason, to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean

Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes

Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between

Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

There was nothing in sight, but memories left abandoned

There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow

And the ground caved in, between where we were standing

And your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve

So give me reason, to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean

Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide

2009-10-10T02:47:00.002+11:00

Barack Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize.

2009-10-09T20:33:00.000+11:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENJAMIN WEE!!

Oh well. It's been a week since prelims ended and I've not gone out. Yes you've heard right, I'm wanting to eat outside food just once. When school started again on Monday, I realize I've not touched my wallet since before prelims, except only to take out my IC for exam purposes. Ok and maybe treating yusin to a meal for her birthday, which felt like a total flop of a celebration though saved by watching Inglourious Basterds. So this means, my cash has somehow accumulated inside. Sweet.

What's not sweet is that I got pummeled mentally, physically and emotionally this week by prelim results. Mentally because I feel that... well you know. It's results, you've got to think through what you attained a certain grade. Physically cause I'm very tired, I haven't been sleeping well and I've been losing appetite for at least one meal a day. I can't help it!! It sort of comes naturally, so this is the physical part. Emotionally cause there's just so much, so so much emotion inside of me. All mixed up and I can't find an outlet for it. I mean, feeling angry, upset, disappointed, stressed and tired (tired meaning bogged down by the unhappiness in life and not sleepy tired) ? I'm only me. I know I can be strong but it's too much.

I think I need to go for a good run around the track. There's just a few more things that I want but I feel even a slight HINT of guilt just thinking about it, let alone spell it out here. Here's a few good things about my recent few months though, I can't even remember the last time I ate ice cream. I think the last time I ate McDonald's was in April. Oh this is a sad one, I've not drank from Starbucks in at least 2 months, no coffee!!

Last of all, it's best when you've something that's always there for you. Yeah, I think it's extremely saddening to say that it's a something. I'm so sorry if this last paragraph turns to be such a disappointment. Then again, a part of me is hoping you would see it. It's selfish but I think that it's best to trust my good old best friend, peanut butter.

[edited 11pm]

I'm back from being at cheesecake cafe for an hour and I feel happy cause I had a peanut butter cheesecake. (:

2009-10-02T18:21:00.001+10:00

here's one after prelims.

HOORAY IT'S THE END OF PRELIMS!!

As you might have noticed and saw the time this was posted, alright I know you didn't anyway, nope, the time isn't fake. It is about an hour after my last paper that I'm home typing this out. Ok, so you think this is a joke, like I'm really just going to go to town in the evening after typing all this. Well, stop laughing…… because I'm NOT going out.

You did not read wrongly. No eye tricks and no you've not that tired to read this wrongly. I'm NOT going out at all. At least not today, not tomorrow and not on Sunday. Hmmmm…… Monday comes after Sunday so OH LOOK LESSONS ARE RESUMING AGAIN. Everyone join me in this momentous celebration.

Why am I not going out? Here's the long story…… short. My brother has his PSLE examinations coming up next week and my father's all the way out at Lake Tahoe so I have to help my dear little brother prepare for his Math and Science papers. This translates to me having to reach home by 5pm on Saturday after ending tuition at 1pm in Bishan and this is if I'm going out, which I'm not. Sunday's a NO-NO since Saturday's already a NO, oh I almost forgot…… there's school the VERY NEXT DAY.

Alright, why then am I not out today then? My mother was shocked to find out YESTEDAY that I'm actually going out today!! It was a "OMG. YOU WERE ACTUALLY GOING OUT TOMORROW AND ON SATURDAY?! …… HOW CAN YOU GO OUT ON SATURDAY AFTER GOING OUT TOMORROW?!" sort of shock, as you can see. Besides this, my friend had to cancel cause she has really bad sunburns all over and it hurts like shit. Take care!!

So this is the one where prelims have ended finally for me when the whole world has FINISHED celebrating. Alright now to wait for results!! :D

2009-10-02T18:11:00.000+10:00

7:46am

I sounded the Hunter's Horn, but my Swiss cheese failed to attract a mouse.

7:30amI sounded the Hunter's Horn, but my efforts were fruitless. A Zombie mouse ate a piece of cheese without setting off my trap.

7:00am
I returned to check my trap, but it appeared my Swiss cheese had failed to attract a mouse.

6:00am
I returned to check my trap, but it appeared my Swiss cheese had failed to attract a mouse. I replaced my bait since it seemed to be stale.

5:00am
I returned to check my trap, but it appeared a Steel mouse had eaten a piece of cheese without setting it off.

4:08am
Benjamin Tan sounded the Hunter's Horn, but my Swiss cheese failed to attract a mouse.

4:00amI returned to check my trap, but it appeared a Zombie mouse had eaten a piece of cheese without setting it off.

3:50am
I sounded the Hunter's Horn, but my efforts were fruitless. A Zombie mouse ate a piece of cheese without setting off my trap.
The power of this mouse crippled my courage, setting me back 1,452 points.

3:31am
I sounded the Hunter's Horn, but my efforts were fruitless. A Steel mouse ate a piece of cheese without setting off my trap.

Additionally, the crafty mouse managed to steal an extra 1 piece of my Swiss cheese!

3:00am
I returned to check my trap, but it appeared a Granite mouse had eaten a piece of cheese without setting it off.

2:00am
I returned to check my trap, but it appeared a Bionic mouse had eaten a piece of cheese without setting it off.

This was why I was so pissed off this morning.

But my luck changed and I'm feeling better.

I've caught 4 zombie mice today thank goodness. (:

and...

Thanks JieHan!! (:

But for now…… read the next post.

2009-09-21T03:17:00.005+10:00

here's one during a study break right after prelims started.

there's a study break (sort of) cause it's a public holiday!!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!

Ok so it all started with GP. It didn't go as well as I've hoped. Starting only to cram bio right after gp and skipping lunch in the process of doing so, my mind was like a mini Maglev train. Turns out cramming worked as it was a content-recall paper. I was left with half an hour after finishing. I got lucky on some questions and also blanked out on certain ones.

Friday came and I treated my best friend to dinner and she treated me to the best show I've watched in a long time; Inglorious Basterds. I've a new favourite actor who won Best Actor Award at the 62nd Cannes Film Festival, Christoph Waltz. This show was like Burn After reading in its sadistic and dark humor but it was fantastic. Christoph Waltz is amazing at being multilingual and instilling the right amount of fear.

Well now, the 2 weeks ahead will be a tiring one. But I'm not plunging into that topic, instead, I wish YuSin a very happy 18th!! She's THE Take That lover. I also want to wish my dear bread, Png Hui Yi a very happy 18th!! I spelt her name out in full because she usually calls me LIN PINN XIAN!! Well. There it is, one of the best parts of life; friends.

If you've been a follower or a frequent patron (by tagging) of my blog, yes, it is indeed time for another one of those parts of a post where you read and probably think "hmmm. she's typing in code. hmmm. it's probably an inside joke or something that happened in her life that I'm not involved in." But hey, I'm just guessing. You may have been skimming and skipped those parts including this one altogether. Anyway, here it is……

I will never hate you. It's something that's not possible. I didn't like it that you were right in stating the thing that I'm ashamed of. I don't deny it. I don't deny that I can't help it either.

There it was, if you (including future me) read it all, congratulations. You may or may not have made any sense out of it and have just effectively wasted some time. Sorry about that by the way. (:

2009-09-04T00:51:00.005+10:00

here's one before prelims.

Today was a horrid day.

I rarely quarrel with my mother but did so in the morning.

I lost my gp tys.

My mother scolded my dad for something I said.

Before that she hit a taxi by accident.

My brother did really badly for prelims.

I just got home with a single break for my brain and I cried a little cause my dad got angry with me after we argued a little.

Was it something I said?

Was it due to jealousy?

Was it something my mother said, like she thought?

Was it due to the breaking of my routine today in the morning in my room?

Was it due to one of the three two-way switches that wasn't in the usual way?

Is this all just superstition?

Back to reality,

I must do well for prelims.

I don't care. I must do well.

You know what, abc?

I don't like you now.

2009-08-08T01:34:00.002+10:00

MY HORRID DAY AND MY AWESOME FATHER.

I woke to find that I couldn't find my sportsxcel shirt to wear to school for celebrations today. (talking about being a malaysian, the vp said citizens must sing the national anthem and recite the pledge.) "as for those who are not singaporeans, (pauses to think) you may remain silent and contemplate about citizenship." HAHA.

Today was a lonely day. The happy parts are when sweeleng gave me two sets of safety pins that formed hearts. HAHA. I don't know how to describe them. And. Special thanks to jiehan who helped me find out that it was jimmy chuk who borrowed my sportsxcel shirt!! I'm so much happier now.

Pizza Hut lunch was just sad. We were feeling the heat from the horrid weather and we were hungry after playing round after round of foosball, paying 50cents after 50cents after 50cents. Service was not good as they were severely short-handed.

Here's the sweet part other than sweeleng and jiehan's great acts of friendship :D

MY AWESOME DAD got me 4 cans of schweppes lemonade from the SIA lounge. HAHA. He's back from melbourne. YAY.

2009-07-21T01:09:00.000+10:00

Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Why she
Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say.
I said,
Something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Why she
Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say.
I said,
Something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

2009-07-20T03:41:00.003+10:00

I'll blog about my birthday party another day.

For now, something huge has just happened to me and I can't tell the two of the most important friends in my life. I'm feeling lonely, sad and split. This was my 18th birthday. This is me.

The point of insanity? I still don't think so.

2009-07-16T22:31:00.002+10:00

I just realized something.

"I'm sorry I've got something on."

sometimes actually means...

"I don't want to go for your party. (hope you understand.)"

I'm not bitching.

I'm saying something which I'm feeling.

Emphasis on the word SOMETIMES.

2009-07-14T23:30:00.003+10:00

What if you were to lose the one thing that you thought was the most beautiful on earth?

Will you run away from such harsh and cruel reality only to sink into further sorrow?

Will you be trying hard to sleep peacefully at night, only to find that your mind is racing faster than you can handle?

Will you be trying hard just to act as if everything is normal?

Will you be trying hard just not to cry?

Will you keep it all to yourself and end up pouring out to your pillow every night?

Will it all come to a point which spells insanity?

I don't think so.

2009-07-06T01:11:00.002+10:00

Common tests have ended.

Friday. Math.

I went with benji and gang for lunch at pizza hut.

Was really happy that they all so accommodating.

I left them to find teresa and friends to watch Transformers.

I swear I was high after the show.

Rushed to find desiree and gilda at shaw's macs.

We saw their friend jingzhi.

Rushed to meet yusin.

thanks for being so nice.

had dinner at nyny.

ate fried mars bars from chippy's in macs at raffles city.

studied a bit.

i think i wasted her time.

like i always do. ):

reached home at like 11 plus.

i want a coke now.

tuition tmr.

byebye.

2009-06-22T23:01:00.002+10:00

cheer everyone, cheer.

look at what the health minister just announced here.

sigh. schools to reopen as scheduled.

[25th June 2009 10pm]

220 cases.

[26th June Morning Headline News]

315 cases.

As travel is the major source of new H1N1 cases, MOE has decided to implement a 7-day leave of absence for all school staff and students to slow the spread within the school community and in Singapore.

[MOE Website FAQs]

[26th June 2009 10pm]

365 cases.

145 cases in 24 hours. WOW.

That's an average of 6 cases an hour.

Health Minister taking 1st step towards Northern health hub.

Good move.

2009-06-10T18:25:00.003+10:00

Apple makes life good.

13-inch MacBook Pro. (I'll still love the white MacBook.)

iPhone 3G S.

iPhone OS 3.0

Safari 4.

More great software and hardware in time to come.

What more could we want that Apple can't give?

On another note,

I'm still definitely getting the Nikon camera.

2009-06-05T02:12:00.000+10:00

"I was drunk I can't be blamed!!"

2009-05-31T18:59:00.005+10:00

I'm not sure what to do now or what to think.

But I know I'll be keeping that can of lemonade for you.

2009-05-25T23:46:00.005+10:00

I found out what D was/is.

Now, I realize that M's just like D.

Should I or should I not?

[26 May 2009]

In another angle of the story,

I feel that it seems to me that I'm left with no one else.

To think that I brought this to school today,

kept it safely in my bag,

in hopes of seeing you as excited as I was

when I found it in a quiet little corner of Cold Storage.

2009-05-20T21:36:00.001+10:00

I just realized that I'm turning 18 this year.

I mean. It just hit me.

I want a present so special I'll never forget.

I'm turning 18.

This is all so magical.

and he kissed her,

whispering...

from me to you.

2009-05-19T00:23:00.003+10:00

when best friends become strangers.

"ouch."

it was a disappointment really.

but i understand.

i'm proud of you but it's hard sometimes.

but i still love you my dear friend.

2009-05-14T23:57:00.002+10:00

I want to go running.

I don't know what I'm saying.

I know I'm not thinking.

I just want to go running.

I want to run fast.

I want to run so fast that it the world goes backwards.

I know I wish I'm not regretting now.

I know I'm cracking.

I don't know why I'm cracking.

I feel like I'm made of glass.

The world's hurling pebbles at me now.

I feel like I'm cracking.

I feel pressured?

Why all the pressure?

I don't know.

I see it again.

I see that I'm bothered by stupid and unimportant things.

I want the world to stop.

I want it all the just pause.

Let me breathe.

I just want some air.

I know my game's all over.

I know I want to be happy for you and what you have in store for you.

But I can't.

I can't pretend to be so happy.

It's too hard.

I'm only so small.

I want to run away.

I want it all to stop just for a while.

But I know it won't.

I know I should stop thinking.

I'm being told to go to sleep.

I can't.

I want to run away from this place.

I want to go to other places.

I want to take photographs for the rest of my life.

I want to help the poor.

I can't think.

I'm not thinking at all.

I'm not thinking now.

Somebody save me.

Somebody, anybody, my honey.

2009-05-14T02:04:00.001+10:00

I LOVE YUSIN SO MUCH FOR SAYING THIS.

"love donut. you two in the middle, the rest outside. xD"

2009-05-13T22:21:00.001+10:00

I love it when you're wrapped around me.

I love it as much as I love peanut butter.

T T T T T... TJ!!

2009-05-13T00:14:00.001+10:00

I'm so darn proud that I'm part of TJC floorball. :D

From nothing to Top 4.

That's us.

T T T T T... TJ!!

2009-05-13T00:08:00.002+10:00

When dreams do become reality,

do you call it a freaky display of psychic power?

Or do you call it a freaky coincidence?

I don't know what I'm thinking about right now.

But I do know that it's all true,

I've not lost interest at all.

In fact, what I have now is irreplaceable.

Do I feel bad?

Let's just say...

I'm dying of immense guilt here.

2009-05-11T23:05:00.003+10:00

"Why can't you pee for two people?"

HAHA.

Anyway. I'm going crazy over cameras.

Currently, I want an Instax 200 and a D90.

Not to mention a lomography camera I found today.

I think I'm most attracted to the coloursplash camera?

2009-05-10T02:22:00.004+10:00

I just find it hard to figure what you're thinking.

Exactly ): I'm so hopeless. What the hell was I thinking.

Yeah what the hell were you thinking!

): Sigh. I'm a slut.

Don't keep saying that! Firstly it's not true. and secondly, it doesn't help matters. chill.

): But sluts are like that right?

like what.

Guys here and there.

Sluts seduce and throw themselves at men. different. and why are we even discussing this when it's not worth discussing because it's so NOT TRUE! haiyo.

Sigh. Ok. As my friend. Tell me. What are you thinking of me now.

im thinking you are facing a lot of stress so you need someone beside you often enough to distract you and let you pour out.

Wow. I'm so weak. ):

and more often that not, the someone is one of those male friends you have who happen to be free at night and are able to appear whereever you are in a short time so it's like immediate relief thing and yeah vulnerable. so vulnerable that you can't control your emotions. you appear strong but you're not THAT strong. yeah that's what i think.

Oh man

i think it would have sounded way better if i said it in your face but yeah, heck msn.

Ok. Please say it to me on monday.

nah dont think i will.

I'm upset now. ):

it will spoil the whole atmosphere

Sigh omg i'm so pathetic!!

yeah come on, spit out all your negative thoughts. maybe it will cheer you up!

No. My self esteem is already low. Can't let it drop further. Omg. Please please tell me this on monday.

i wont. i'll try not to upset you further.

Why!! Oh. No.

and yknow what, what i said might not be true either. it's just how i feel.

but it's like. it'll sound so much better. it sounds so true and blunt now. it's like you're calling me a pathetic slut. ): you're not but yah.

i'm not. and yah maybe a bit pathetic but definitely not SLUT. haha okay hit me.

Ok. It's enough. I'm pathetic!!

yeah hate me too ):

Omg I hate myself. A lot.

dont! you must love yourself first. think that you deserve better.

I may hate hate you for saying it but it's true. So thanks.

saying what?

I mean. You agree. I'm pathetic.

i said maybe.

Sigh. I may appear strong but I'm weak. ): sigh (name). who knew.

yeah. i dontknow what else to say. im making matters worse. and i didnt intend to

): It's ok.

it's not okay. at all. you're feeling terrible. and i made it worse.

It's ok!! I learnt something about myself. Sigh. Just when _____ thought I was strong.

do you think you are strong?

I thought I was.

so now?

I'm weak? That's it. Oh. And vulnerable.

not much difference between the two for me. and by the way being weak isnt wrong.

Big difference what. It's not wrong. It's bad.

sigh. i dont know what to say already. you need positivity.

I'm known to be really positive and strong I guess. Well guess I'm not.

2009-05-07T01:23:00.000+10:00

Px,

Please smile as mine depends on yours!

It doesn't only break my heart to see you crying,

it shatters completely.

I'd give you all my strength if I could,

I'd protect you from all harm,

I'd kiss you till you smile.

One thing I would definitely do if I could,

Is to turn back time just for you.

You try to be strong in hopes of letting others feel better,

You are strong, no doubt.

Take it easy.

My dear PX, forgive yourself.

2009-05-06T23:03:00.002+10:00

If we are being forced to leave,

we leave with a BANG.

I could never have a better team with such beautiful teammates.

2009-05-04T22:21:00.000+10:00

Games of Glory

A sport is peaceful glory,

a virtue that is earned without sin,

to compete leads to a story,

a tale of a wonderful win.

Victory leads to the promise of glee,

whereas defeat gives instruction and learned skill to those in need.

Train and you will succeed in time,

know how to win and you will have linked the heart and mind.

Without defeat there can be no victory,

without determination, there can be only apathy and misery.

Passion fuels the soul,

to win you must excel and learn control,

only after you become one with yourself and all,

can you overcome the odds and snatch victory with the ball.

When you compete as one,

you must rely on the soul to give you the will to overcome.

But when you compete as many,

only as a whole and as a part,

can teamwork succeed against an army,

and snatch victory from Hell’s dark.

Now you know all you need of what sportsmanship is like,

be one with yourself and those who help you,

so that your pain leads you into the light.

2009-05-04T22:09:00.001+10:00

To all my beautiful teammates.

I love you.

We are beautiful people with beautiful characters.

We can do this.

2009-05-02T17:53:00.002+10:00

I can shoot a floorball at 78km/h.

We can be the champions.

Nothing's going to stop us but divine intervention.

(yes that line's kind of from I'm Yours.)

I copied that from a previous post.

Now is the time to think...

"You can shoot a floorball at 78km/h?

Well. I can shoot a floorball into your goal at a speed >78km/h."

Always remember this.

"We played our lousiest game and we lost 2-1."

The 9 points is ours to take, my dear teammates.

We WILL get it and go through to the semi-finals.

2009-04-29T22:19:00.002+10:00

"Step it up now."

"I'm fired up.

Are you?"

I think I know what went wrong with me.

My desire wasn't strong enough.

I was not fired up.

I remember when I was fired up,

I could feel it with each breath I took,

I wanted it.

Nothing was on my mind but the game.

No fatigue signals, no pain.

Just my ever-fantastic teammates,

The game,

My mind.

It was absolute focus.

It was a burning and strong urge to fight,

To play,

To win.

Let's fire up.

Play it hot.

Feel it.

Our time is here and now.

2009-04-26T02:34:00.002+10:00

I know this is a complete change of tone, mood and topic.

It isn't floorball related.

I just realized that in fact I may not be very close to anyone after all.

No offense. To all my friends, I really do appreciate you. (:

I was just thinking, when I die,

sometime long long later in life,

(no, not if anyone's going to cry at my funeral. cause somebody definitely will.)

if there's going to be someone crying at my funeral

cause I'm their best friend.

Morbid much?

More depressing than morbid really.

I hate to say it and I'm really upset over it.

I may have best friends? This isn't the sad part.

It's that I'm nobody's best friend.

Surprise surprise.

I just talked to michelle.

Here's a new thought.

Since I don't have a best friend (I decided it should be a mutual thing so I've no best friend.)

(who I was kidding? oh right. myself.)

but I've really a few close friends.

Could those close friends become that best friend?

Something like that.

I've really good close friends.

I've been brought up to think that everyone's going to have a best friend.

I need to accept that my fantastic close friends are good enough.

I need to know that I'm very blessed.

I need to stop being a kid.

I need to grow up.

On a totally different note.

I really want to win the championships.

GO TJ GO!!

2009-04-25T23:18:00.008+10:00

These are my cravings.
This is my life now.

I'm craving badly just to have a gulp of it. BUT. I MUST ABSTAIN. DARN.

I've always wanted stabil shoes. This s model looks so much better than the 7!! Argh.

My dslr to be. Will start saving soon. :D

I kind of want to try this out. BUT.
I still love my bamboo stick the most.

See? These are my cravings in order of how much I'd give up peanut butter for a day.
That's really bad huh?
The other point is that all of the above are floorball related.
I'm going mad.
That's good cause it means I'm in love with floorball.
I know I'm supposed to keep floorball aside as coach had instructed earlier today.
I shall focus on the D90 up there which I realized isn't floorball related.

:D

GO TJ GO!!

2009-04-25T21:13:00.006+10:00

2009 Floorball 'A' Division.

Here we come.

This is a great song.
It's apt.
The singers are from Sweden, where floorball's from as well. HAHA.
(P.S. It's not a sick song. :/ )

Jerk It Out - The Caesars
Wind me up
Put me down
Start me off and watch me go
I'll be runnin' circles around you sooner than you know
A little off center
And I'm out of tune
Just kickin' this can along the avenue
But I'm alright

Cause it's easy once you know how it's done
You can't stop now
It's already begun
You feel it runnin' through your bones
And you jerk it out
And you jerk it out

Shut up
Hush your mouth
Can't you hear you talk too loud?
No can't hear nothin' 'cause I got my head up in the clouds
I bite off anything that I can chew
I'm chasing cars up and down the avenue
But that's ok

Cause it's easy once you know how it's done
You can't stop now
It's already begun
You feel it runnin' through your bones
And you jerk it out

Cause it's easy once you know how it's done
You can't stop now
It's already begun
You feel it runnin' through your bones
And you jerk it out
And you jerk it out

And you jerk it out
And you jerk it out
And you jerk it out
Oh baby don't you know you
Really gotta jerk it out

When you jerk it out
Oh baby don't you know you
Really gotta jerk it out
When you jerk it out
Oh baby don't you know you
Really gotta jerk it out

Here's something to be awed by.

2009-04-19T18:04:00.006+10:00

I can shoot a floorball at 78km/h.

We can be the champions.

Nothing's going to stop us but divine intervention.

(yes that line's kind of from I'm Yours.)

Well.

Hanging out and playing matches yesterday,

Having Sarpino's pizza at lunch and wine at night,

Shooting floorballs with a speed radar clocking the speeds,

Laughing and enjoying the fantastic company from my beloved floorball team,

Watching Mel going crazy over Tap Tap,

Travelling around Singapore on the train for hours,

Sweat dripping in the back of Coach's van,

Cheating on Starbucks by drinking from Coffee Bean who doesn't allow studying,

Reaching home at 12am after being out of the house for almost 18 hours,

I can definitely say that yesterday was a great day.

ohoh. from the title of this post. and from teresa's blog.

this is when 78 > 81. HAHA.

okok don't be sad bak pao, i'll give you the waterbottle. (:

2009-04-17T01:31:00.002+10:00

This I must say,

Black Board late lunch was great.

I went with small michelle cause no one else was free.

(I took the chem deductive qn thing early so yah. :/ )

I don't know why but being with small mich at black board

eating really unhealthy stuff really cheered me up.

(OH NO. I just made small mich's head explode cause it can't contain her ego anymore.)

HAHA. kidding.

I was thinking.

What is happening?

What is going to happen?

How will all these things happening now affect everyone?

Most importantly, how is it going to affect you, my meat bun?

One thing I learnt again in my life today?

A smile is priceless and it is the best thing to see ever.

Yes. It beats sunsets at times.

2009-04-16T00:58:00.000+10:00

I'm going to eat at Black Board tmr.

It's so unhealthy it makes me happy.

2009-04-16T00:24:00.002+10:00

When It Just Gets Worse.

Today?

Terrible.

Coach was a little harsher than usual but it was for our own good.

What bothered me was my dad.

He's realistic. YES.

It's too much.

In any case,

answer me.

Am I individualistic?

Am I very individualistic?

Am I too individualistic?

2009-04-15T00:54:00.003+10:00

I think I'm evil.

I feel consumed by something so wicked.

My mind was filled with thoughts of malice.

Now I think to myself,

Was it a waste of investment?

I don't want to just give you up like that.

I know I'm being silly and stupid.

OK FATTY.

I JUST SAW YOUR TAGS.

WHO ARE YOU?

WHAT IS YOUR DEAL.

2009-04-14T00:52:00.002+10:00

I think I'm somewhat evil.

There was just a flicker of a moment,

I felt it.

There was just a spark of anger,

It lit me up.

This fire consumed me whole,

I felt some sort of power.

I felt a will to do something.

I just felt like watching you suffer.

S.O.S

Somebody save my soul.

I'm really evil.

But I believe I'm a good person.

Please forgive me.

2009-04-13T00:25:00.001+10:00

Hello ______.

You're the first ______ that I officially hate.

Your ______,

2009-04-12T16:42:00.002+10:00

here's an update.

my brother's friend spilled my wine over mac keyboard.

it's a little screwed. got a little help and now it's a little better.

i got my hair cut and i look absolutely horrid.

2009-04-10T01:22:00.002+10:00

Hello world and everyone around me,

I'm going to show all of you what I can do.

I am emotionally, mentally and physically strong.

I'm going to show all of you out there.

NEVER AGAIN will anyone doubt me without reason.

NEVER.

Something's going to happen.

Things are going to change.

I'm going to show it to all of you.

I'm going to show you MAGIC.

2009-04-10T01:03:00.002+10:00

What is the point?

I'm never good enough for you.

When I try to do things and settle things by myself,

You say it's stupid of me to even have tried.

When I try to do the right thing,

I get yelled at.

I'm never good enough for you.

When enough is enough.

I was tired.

I was hungry.

I was pissed off.

CHECK IT OUT.

I realized today that...

You know some of the friends that you really depend on?

They can turn out to be the biggest disappointments in your life.

Why? It's because you trust them.

I realized that eating sinful food makes me happier.

Not happy.

And so I was saying,

I was tired and hungry.

Pissed off as well.

The cherry on the top of the ice cream disaster?

I JUST had to get yelled at at the end of my day.

That was NOT some sarcastic cherry.

It's just that...

I HATE CHERRIES.

Just the bright red cherries that you get on the top of the

disgusting white mush of whipped cream.

WHAT A DAY.

so I conclude with a question. which is ironic really.

SO WHAT IS THE POINT?

2009-04-09T18:41:00.001+10:00

HAPPY PEACOCK GROUP!!

ALL 'A's for Project Work!!

BE CLEAN, GO GREEN!!

2009-04-04T01:22:00.001+11:00

Thanks to mel,

FLOORBALL GIRLS GRABBED THE GOLD!!

I won something!!

I actually got a medal!!

It felt really great to be sprinting again!!

2009-03-31T01:46:00.002+11:00

It was the first time I felt a real panic and fear right smack in the face.

I crumbled a little.

Then I cried.

I was so scared.

Then, I was angry.

I was so angry.

Now, I'm still pissed.

Pissed at you useless and coRRupt _________ (9 letters.)

2009-03-30T01:18:00.002+11:00

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE...
PLEASE HAVE THE COURTESY TO AT LEAST
LEAVE ME A SMS OR MESSAGE.
OR ELSE?
RETURN MY CALL.

I don't care if I sound like a bitch here?
But I SIMPLY HATE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT REPLY MESSAGES OR RETURN CALLS.
If you can't return the call...
ONE sms doesn't take you more than a minute, right?
WELL OF COURSE, IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE I'M WORTH EVEN A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME.
OR LIFE. ANYMORE.
HOW PATHETIC OF ME.

Hang on, I was just curious...

IN THIS WHOLE YEAR, WAS I EVEN WORTH A SINGLE MINUTE OF YOUR TIME?

"I didn't think so."

"OH REALLY? WOW!! WHEN?!"

Which of the above will my reaction be?

2009-03-29T23:35:00.007+11:00

Just got back from NUS Tenses and i think we were pretty awesome!

TJ-MJ: 1-1
TJ-NUS: 2-3
TJ-Combined Schools: 1-3
TJ-NJ: 2-1

GO TJ FLOORBALL GIRLS TEAM!

COLD. AFRAID. (and something else that coach said.)

We are strong.

We can do it.

2009-03-25T02:48:00.001+11:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Disappointment
Looked down on
Where Your life is Going
Death
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-03-17T00:29:00.002+11:00

I just saw this on yinxue's msn nick.

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

She just told me...

|-eight²| ^_^ says:
your nic is like the jason mraz's album

[ alison ] - wink. smile. run. says:
really?

:D :D :D

2009-03-16T23:52:00.003+11:00

I want this.

The Red Cover.

2009-02-22T02:50:00.000+11:00

He's just not that into you?

It's a great show!!

It's agreed that it's like loveactually!! (:

Something that I wanted to write here...

"His body has more definition than the Oxford dictionary."

2009-02-19T23:22:00.002+11:00

yesterday turned out to be a RELATIVELY good day.

___ didn't pick on me. relatively nice. key word: RELATIVELY.

Chem test was terrible. Miss Li blew up at us today. very scary.

Civics took an unexpected when we had to join 13/08 (michelle's, grace's and mayves's class)

for lesson. The "hottie alert" guy certainly did not look to be in his early thirties.

I have to comment on a side random note that Adeline is very SCANDALOUS. :D

What and who really made my day yesterday?

My grandma!!

She made sweet potato buns in my house!!

I've been eating them since I was young.

I helped her make some too!! Not this time though. Had training at TSH.

She specially made quite a few with peanut butter filling for me!! (:

I love you, grandma.